Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You were trust falling into bushes
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
