So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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