doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
