im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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