508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Are we still banned from the library?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
