They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
