I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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