i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
