Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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