Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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