she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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