Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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