How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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