love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
