AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
