Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
