I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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