my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
