sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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