We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
