3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
