So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I need to align my fucking chakras
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
