the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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