I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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