Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
