Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
