Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
