so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
