I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
