he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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