I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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