i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
