have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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