Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
