We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
