I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
