Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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