I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
