saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
