I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
