I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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