he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize