Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
