"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
