I'm really into asian looking animals
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I could fuck to npr.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
