Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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