What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
