It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
