Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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