Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize