Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
