I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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