I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
