In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
