woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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