She said her name was "party"
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
