SEEEEXXX PLEASE
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
