Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
