I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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